Build a healthy relationship with your teen.

You’re here as you’re looking for ways to build a healthy relationship with your teen. It can feel difficult to find ways to connect with them. Maybe you have totally different interests or hobbies. Perhaps you are currently learning how to grow as a parent to work with them as well as possible. While you remain their parent, you still want to have a positive, open relationship with them. Lately, your teens may have been feeling teenage angst coming on. They’re feeling irritated more easily, are quick to react, or overall have an attitude. Maybe they’re the exact opposite. That they’re isolating themselves, not opening up, or simply avoiding talking about difficult things.

It’s important to remember that the teenage years are very difficult for them, as well. They have a lot to figure out about themselves. On top of that, they may have pressure to shape their identity, pick a life career, focus on school, sports, or more. These years are developmentally crucial for them in being able to persevere through hard times.

As a parent, you want to be a positive role model for them while they navigate their teenage years. You want to be someone that they can trust and lean on. Rather than be a negative figure in their lives, you want to help them get to where they want to be. As parents, we can sometimes be viewed as the villain or persecutor. However, you want to be able to play a positive role in their lives!

Building and maintaining a healthy relationship with your teen is an amazing goal to have for your family. Not only will you be a great support system for them, but they will also reciprocate that back to you as well. Having mutual trust, understanding, and respect for one another goes a long way. 

YAS MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC Can help your family identify areas you can all grow as a unit.

Ways to Build a Healthy Relationship with Your Teen: Play an active role in their lives

Remain curious about your teen’s interests, hobbies, and activities. Maybe they really enjoy playing a certain video game and are passionate about the characters. It’s a great idea to inquire about their interests and allow them space to speak about them. If they are passionate about a certain topic, give them space to get excited talking about it.

By playing an active role in their lives, you will be staying up to date with what’s going on with them. If they engage in any form of sports, you can remember to offer encouragement prior to the game or plan to attend any of their games. If they enjoy hobbies such as hiking or skateboarding, you can find ways to be interested in that as well. Such as inquiring about their favorite hiking spots, or current tricks they’re learning to land.

This doesn’t mean that you would begin to participate in these activities with them. Or be around them 24/7 when they do engage in them. But rather, show interest in them. Find out what your teen likes or dislikes about it. Maybe they want to show you something or teach you something. It’s important to them that their interests matter! Whatever goals they have to achieve, hobby-wise, sports-wise, or anything else, matters greatly to them. And it means so much to them when you are validating that. 

YAS MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC provides your teen with coping mechanisms for when difficult feelings arise.

Ways to Build a Healthy Relationship with your Teen: Remain open and honest

Encouraging openness and honesty can be tricky with teens. They may think you’re trying to trick them into opening up about something that might get them into trouble. However, it’s important to remember that in order to build trust, you need to show them that it’s a good thing to be honest. For example, we don’t want our teens to be experimenting with drugs/alcohol or hanging around the wrong crowd. It concerns us and makes us worried – which can sometimes translate into frustration, even anger. 

It’s important to model the openness you want to see from your teens. This can look like you are sharing your own experiences you had as a teen. Maybe you also struggled in school with certain subjects. Or you were picked on or teased for something. Maybe you struggled with friendships or relationships as well. Sharing your story will help normalize talking about topics that may be difficult to talk about. Maybe you tried drugs/alcohol as a teen, and had an experience, whether it be good or bad. Or you experimented with sex at that age as well. 

Regardless of what happened, find some things you can share with your teen. Whether they are relatable to what they are currently going through or not. It will help paint you in a light that you were their age once, too. And you made mistakes and had to learn from them the hard way.

When we act like we are perfect, we aren’t being authentic with our teens, or ourselves. It’s good to admit that maybe we messed up and made the wrong choices as teens. Our teens may feel more comfortable asking questions. Maybe even confiding in yourself in a bad decision they made.

YAS MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC helps strengthen the relationship between a teen and their parents.

Ways to Build a Healthy Relationship with your Teen: Remain interested in their mental health

Remain interested and offer support as needed for their mental health. Make it a point to check in with them frequently. You can do this directly, by asking, “How are you feeling today?” or “What emotions came up for you today?”. You can also ask how school is going, how friendships are, or their relationships.

It can be difficult for teens to open up about their feelings. They may feel hesitant to do so or avoid talking about difficult topics. Teens may even act like everything is okay, just to avoid having a conversation about it. It’s possible that they may choose to hide their feelings from you.

Nonetheless, make efforts to check in with them. Remind them that they can talk to you about anything, judgment-free. And that it is safe for them to tell you things. When your teen does open up and is honest, praise them for their honesty and trust. It’s important to keep an eye on their performance in certain areas of their lives. If you see they are doing poorly in school, make sure to check in about how they’re feeling. Rather than reprimand them for bad grades, ask if they are okay, and what’s going on. Maybe they are falling behind in understanding the subject. 

At the end of it all, it’s always a great idea to consider teen therapy or family therapy. Therapists will be able to guide your family to best grow individually and support one another. They are very experienced in understanding your personal needs, as well as the family’s needs as a whole. 

You know what it was like being a teenager. It could have been awkward, cringe-worthy, depressing, scary. Maybe it was exciting, fun, adventurous, and full of good stories. Everyone experiences teenage years and adolescence differently. We may have had different circumstances than our teens do today. Rather than be upset with your teen for sharing that they experimented with marijuana or snuck out to see friends one night, find this as an opportunity to connect with them. To share your story with them. You can help normalize this part of the teenage years and also maybe share some fun laughs with them.

Even if your teen did not do something that went against your house rules, find time to connect with them. It can be interesting for them to hear about what life was like for you as a teen. They may even gain a greater understanding of who you are from this, and you can develop mutual respect.

Maybe you’ll want to share what your experience was like to help provide education and awareness to your teen. This could be for their own safety experimenting or just out of wanting them to be aware of their surroundings. Also, when your teens may be in similar circumstances, they may feel more comfortable opening up to you on their own.

It can be difficult for your teen to be open and honest with you about what’s going on in their life. They may be ashamed, embarrassed, or scared they’ll get in trouble. Always encourage and praise honesty and find ways to address concerns in a safe and healthy manner.

If you feel you need some additional support, CALL (805) 871-6023, YAS MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC to learn more. We value working together as a family and believe that family dynamics are important for effective communication, managing stress or anger, and being able to function together again as a whole.

YAS MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC wants to make sure you have the tools to best support your teen and help your teen open up. 

Now Offering TELEHEALTH Therapy in ALL CALIFORNIA,  Los Angeles, and Online Counseling Ventura County. At YAS MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC  practice offers Child therapy and family counseling, Teen therapy, Anxiety AND Depression Treatment, and Anxiety and Depression Therapy