RELATIONSHIP

You’re here to understand what questions you should be asking while going into a new relationship. New relationships can be very exciting! As they begin, you may experience the honeymoon phase. This stage will bring you and your partner a lot of excitement, happiness, contentment, and more. 

While this phase in relationships is great and enjoyable, it’s inevitable that they may begin to break down as you get to know your partner better. All relationships are different. Not every relationship will lose its spark and may even grow stronger after the honeymoon phase. However, some relationships may reveal their true colors after the honeymoon phase, going in a completely different direction than before.

It’s important that during this phase, or even before committing to a relationship, you are getting to know your partner. It’s always a great idea to ask specific questions tailored to themselves, you, and how they perceive relationships (whether that be social or romantic). Aside from getting to know their hobbies and interests, you want to know how they operate.

Getting to know each other inside and out won’t happen overnight, and you will still need to spend time and experiences with them to see who they are. Asking these questions may also not happen overnight and will come up in your time together. It’s important to keep these in mind, as well as their answers. Although these questions don’t necessarily have a wrong answer, you will be able to tell whether or not their answer is something you agree with.

Green flags in a relationship.

You’re wondering what are 3 green flags in a relationship are? Sometimes, we can focus on identifying negative aspects of a relationship. Maybe we want to really make sure that we are identifying and avoiding toxic people and behaviors. However, it’s also important to search for green flags in a relationship as well!

It’s important to know what good traits you are looking for in a relationship. Are you wanting someone who makes you feel comfortable and safe? Perhaps you want someone who has an open mind and likes trying new things. 

Look out for these green flags to ensure that you will be in a healthy relationship! Especially when you are engaging in these behaviors as well, the two of you can flourish. Although relationships are not perfect, how you and your partner handle difficult situations matters a lot. It also matters how you treat each other, even when you may not be that happy with one another.

At the end of the day, getting started in couples counseling is a great route to go as well. Not only will you and your partner strengthen each other, but you will strengthen yourselves. Couples therapy can be a great neutral ground to better understand one another. It will also provide both of you with skills to make your relationship as enjoyable as possible.

Online couples therapy in Westlake, Ca can be convenient for both of your daily schedules.

3 Green Flags in a Relationship: Clear, healthy communication

Clear, healthy communication is abundant in your relationship. Both you and your partner feel comfortable to talk about what’s on your mind, or what’s going on in your life. You don’t feel worried or that you’re walking on thin ice around them. 

Even when you are feeling upset or having an argument, you still feel comfortable talking to them. There is no fear in bringing up a tough topic or any feelings that you have. Your partner wants to genuinely understand what’s going on for you, and validate that. They would not want to cause you further distress or be dismissive of your feelings. Although it may not be a comfortable topic, your partner still tolerates it and is able to actively listen.

You feel safe speaking your mind around them, and you do not feel judged, dismissed, or belittled for it. Rather, conversations flow easily, and they can engage with you in an array of topics. There is mutual understanding and listening from both sides, to ensure that everyone feels validated.

They are also able to clearly and healthily communicate their feelings to you as well. If they have a difficult topic to talk about, they will bring it up in a healthy way. They won’t bring it up at inappropriate times, such as in social outings with friends or family. They respect your privacy and feelings and want to make sure you two are in a mutual environment to discuss something meaningful to them.

Rather than engage in petty behaviors or stonewall you, your partner can say, “Hey, I’m feeling upset about this, and I would like to sit down and discuss this when you are able to.” The same goes for how you communicate with your partner. For example, let’s say that you say that exact thing, and they’re able to reply with, “I understand you feeling upset about that, I’ll be free to sit down with you in about an hour”. 

It could be that there is no disagreement or upsetting topic to discuss at all, but they still practice healthy communication with you! Rather than going all day without checking in, maybe they send a quick note to let you know that they are or will be busy, and they will check in when they can. Or, they are open and honest about their lives with you and enjoy sharing news such as family, friends, or work situations.

Whatever the form of communication may be, it’s essential that you feel safe, mutual, and validated. You also feel included in what’s going on in their lives and don’t feel scared to bring up something that upsets you. 

Couples therapy in Westlake, CA helps both you and your partner feel comfortable sharing your feelings.

3 Green Flags in a Relationship: Respect goes both ways

It’s important that you feel respected in your relationship, and that you both equally respect each other. Respect can pertain to many different things. One thing could be boundaries. When you set boundaries with your partner, they respect them. This could look like boundaries around public displays of affection, for example.

You can have mutual respect in a relationship in a few different ways. The first one is trust, where you both are confident in each other and your relationship. You don’t feel like they’re hiding anything from you, or doing anything behind your back. You treat your partner how you want to be treated as well. 

A second way to have mutual respect in a relationship is to remain reliable and accountable. This can look like following through with any set plans that you may have, whether it be date night or going to run errands together. If they plan to call you at certain times, they call you to follow through with that. 

Maybe you feel like you can trust them to take care of your pets, be around your children, or borrow your car. You have trust for one another and do not feel worried about leaving anything in their possession. 

Westlake, CA therapists are here to help you and your partner create real change in your relationships.

3 Green Flags in a Relationship: You feel supported and comfortable being vulnerable

You feel supported and comfortable being vulnerable in your relationship! One example could be your partner supporting your dreams or interests. Maybe they are proud of you for meeting goals at work or getting schooling assignments completed. Perhaps you run a small business, and they make you feel supported every chance you get.

It’s also important to feel vulnerable in relationships. When we are guarded or act in defense, we can communicate the wrong things to our partner. Being able to let our guard down, feel relaxed, and be open and honest with our partner is a great thing. They make you feel appreciated for your differences!

Being able to be who you are is important. You don’t want to be with someone who you feel you can’t express yourself around. Maybe you are into completely opposite things, for example. Even though they may not have the same passion as you, they still support you in being who you are.

They don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed of who you are. Rather, they uplift you and stand up for you. They make time to listen to you rave about your passions. It’s important to them that they give you the space to be yourself and have your own interests outside of the relationship.

At the end of the day, couples counseling is a great thing to get started in, even if you don’t have any presenting concerns. Maybe you want to briefly try it out, just to see how you can better support and care for one another. It’s a great way to explore each other’s love languages and be able to resolve any issues in a healthy way.

YAS MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC -Couples counseling is a great way to address relationship concerns

By taking these questions into consideration, you may find out a lot about your new or potential partner! Their answers may make you feel more comfortable around them as well. They are great conversation starters and also could be crucial to know before committing to someone. Be prepared for them to potentially ask you these questions back, as well.

YAS MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC offers a place for both you and your partner to feel individually supported while you work towards collective goals in your relationship.

Are you looking for commitment?

This question can help clear the air about any expectations. Not every relationship will follow the same timeline of being in the talking stage for 2 weeks and then deciding to settle down with one another. Maybe your partner is not looking for true commitment but does enjoy talking and hanging out with you as often as you do. 

Make it very clear what you want out of this relationship, and vice versa, to avoid any miscommunication and misunderstanding of one another. This can prevent someone from being left hurt and confused.

Clear boundaries can help you avoid toxic relationships.

What do you value most about your current friendships?

Within their current friendships, what do they value the most? Could that be that they can be completely themselves around their friends? Maybe they feel the utmost trust and loyalty within the group. Or they may share that they see no value, and secretly dislike all of their friends. Do with this information what you will. Maybe you value someone who has close, trustworthy people in their life, and that’s important to you. 

Are you close with your family members? Why or why not?

This question can help you understand their family dynamic. You can learn about their family tree, about any siblings or extended family that they have, and their relationships with them. Maybe they have a close relationship with their parents and have a large family. It could be that they are completely estranged from their family. 

Do you have unfinished business with anyone?

Of course, we can all be curious about past lovers in our partner’s life. Do they still remain in communication with past lovers? Do they have a good relationship with them, or did things end on a really bad note? It could be that while dating you before settling down, they were also talking with other people. It’d be good to get an idea of their situation.

Major red flags in relationships as well.

How would you define cheating in a relationship?

What would they define cheating in a relationship? Do they think that cheating is limited to solely physical acts, or do they believe that maintaining a dating app counts as cheating? From this question, you may be able to understand their own values and morals when it comes to relationships. 

Online counseling with YAS MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC is a great option for couples who have busy schedules but want a safe space to work through difficult situations together.

What are your likes and dislikes when it comes to sex?

It is good to know about your partner’s likes and dislikes when it comes to sex. Maybe they are into things that you are not comfortable exploring. Or, you have similar interests in sex. This is also a good time to bring up any boundaries around that or express any needs or desires in sex. What do you need to happen for you to feel good, and vice versa to your partner? 

What are you grateful for?

This question would be great to understand what your partner is grateful for on a regular basis. This could even be for what they are grateful for about themselves: their sense of humor, their style, and their cooking skills. Maybe they appreciate their furry friend or are content in their career path. Either way, this is a great conversation starter and can help you view the world through their lens.

How comfortable are you expressing and communicating your emotions?

Does your partner struggle with communication or self-expression when it comes to difficult emotions? Do they tend to bottle things up and explode at the drop of a hat? Are they comfortable sharing if they are going through a difficult time, such as feeling depressed, stressed, or frustrated? You’d like to be with someone who can be vulnerable and open about themselves. Individuals who struggle with communication may cause complications down the line if they are not up-front and honest about what they are going through.

Common communication problems in relationships.

If you feel you need some additional support, CALL (805) 871-6023, YAS MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC to learn more. We value working together as a family and believe that family dynamics are important for effective communication, managing stress or anger, and being able to function together again as a whole.

YAS MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC wants to make sure you have the tools to best support your teen and help your teen open up. 

Now Offering TELEHEALTH Therapy in ALL CALIFORNIA,  Los Angeles, and Online Counseling Ventura County. At YAS MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC  practice offers Child therapy and family counseling, Teen therapy, Anxiety AND Depression Treatment, and Anxiety and Depression Therapy